When will the calm come???

I sit here 8w1d pregnant and still so nervous. I keep waiting for something to happen. I have had 3 very small spotting episodes but they've been enough to rattle me. I find myself staying away from TheBump because I'm scared to see posts about loss, thinking that it could easily be me. It's weird how a site that provided so much comfort to me during the past year has now become a place that can make me so anxious. I sneak on and off every once in awhile to check on my fav peeps though ... I root for them, even if silently.

We have told our immediate family. Brian's family found out when his Mom opened the onesie that I posted below. "Best Gift Ever" .... perfectly said. We told my family by putting a homemade shirt on our little pup Marley that said "I'm gonna be a big sister". I wish I had a video of the reactions. It was awesome. I'm not ready to tell anyone else just yet.

I'm hoping that we can have an ultrasound soon and I can see a heartbeat. I think then I'll be able to relax. Here in Nova Scotia they don't send you for an ultrasound until 20 weeks (unless you are high risk) ... I can't wait that long. I need to see that little heartbeat so I can relax and begin to truly enjoy this pregnancy and make plans to bring this little one home!