I stood on the bathroom scale today.
It was not good.
162.8 lbs. I need to put that down in black & white. Confront myself with it. Make myself realize that indeed it is true. I am back to the weight I was when I first joined Weight Watchers in Sept of 2004. At that time I joined because I was depressed. I had broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years and I was in a city where I knew no one. I thought if I could control nothing else, I could control what I put in my mouth. So I joined WW and by March of 2005 I had lost 30 lbs! I remember being so happy. For the first time in my life I loved the way I looked. I loved buying clothes. I loved getting dressed in the morning and getting ready for a night out. It didn't matter what I threw on, it all fit. It all looked good.
Now here I am. Back to square one. I always say, "I'll start Monday", "I'll start tomorrow", "I'll start after :insert celebration:" .... but this is it. A random Tuesday. And I start today.
I need to gain control of my life again. My husband and I are trying for a baby. Five months later and it hasn't happened. Maybe my body is telling me it's not ready. It's too unhealthy. Maybe that needs to be my focus first. And so it will be. Weight loss will now be my focus.
And here I go ......